Happy Independence Day to the country where I was born.
It was on this land that I was born, where I took my first breath. It was here that I learned to walk, where I learned my first words- both in Konkani and in English.
It was here I attended my first school, where I first realized the world was so much bigger that I thought it was.
It was on this land I first felt true happiness.
I left India for around 7 years, and came back relatively grown up. I was no longer the innocent child who loved to talk to the vegetable vendors outside her house. I was smarter, more careful. I was also angrier.
It was also on this land that I felt true rage. It was on this land that I first felt hopeless and helpless.
It was on this land that I grew older and looked at the people around me with more and more distrust.
I watched large buildings rise up in the form of towers, but saw men harass women every day.
I saw the news, I saw the statistics.
No woman on this land was or is safe.
Sometimes it feels like we never will be.
I know, as every woman in this country knows, that I can walk out of my house wearing anything I want, because I will still get harassed.
I grew older, and my faith in humanity grew weaker.
How disgusting, how cruel, how barbaric do you have to be to strip someone of their dignity, of their right to say no?
It was on this land that I shed tears of helplessness for the first time when I realized the true weight of the patriarchy on a woman.
It was this land that a man, many a man, would touch you in a way you did not want. A reality that every woman has to face.
The colours I used to see in my country faded away, the childhood joys that were felt were dulled at best.
The laughter, the happiness. Its all gone now.
I've grown up, I see the world for what it is. I can see the blood of a rape victim flowing on the ground as semen fills her up. I can see the isolation, the blame she will have, the brand of shame that society will give her.
I see it everywhere I go- on the streets, in college, in the mall.
I can see this country slowly becoming every woman's worst nightmare.
But once a year, I let myself hope. Every year, on the eve of Independence, I allow myself to hope for the future, to hope that maybe, this will be the year.
This will be the year that my country becomes a country I feel safe in.
This is the year that men will slowly stop raping women.
This is the year that India will finally be the India I saw it to be a little less than 2 decades ago.
It hasn't happened yet.
But, in the end, what else do I have but hope?
It was on this land that I was born, where I took my first breath. It was here that I learned to walk, where I learned my first words- both in Konkani and in English.
It was here I attended my first school, where I first realized the world was so much bigger that I thought it was.
It was on this land I first felt true happiness.
I left India for around 7 years, and came back relatively grown up. I was no longer the innocent child who loved to talk to the vegetable vendors outside her house. I was smarter, more careful. I was also angrier.
It was also on this land that I felt true rage. It was on this land that I first felt hopeless and helpless.
It was on this land that I grew older and looked at the people around me with more and more distrust.
I watched large buildings rise up in the form of towers, but saw men harass women every day.
I saw the news, I saw the statistics.
No woman on this land was or is safe.
Sometimes it feels like we never will be.
I know, as every woman in this country knows, that I can walk out of my house wearing anything I want, because I will still get harassed.
I grew older, and my faith in humanity grew weaker.
How disgusting, how cruel, how barbaric do you have to be to strip someone of their dignity, of their right to say no?
It was on this land that I shed tears of helplessness for the first time when I realized the true weight of the patriarchy on a woman.
It was this land that a man, many a man, would touch you in a way you did not want. A reality that every woman has to face.
The colours I used to see in my country faded away, the childhood joys that were felt were dulled at best.
The laughter, the happiness. Its all gone now.
I've grown up, I see the world for what it is. I can see the blood of a rape victim flowing on the ground as semen fills her up. I can see the isolation, the blame she will have, the brand of shame that society will give her.
I see it everywhere I go- on the streets, in college, in the mall.
I can see this country slowly becoming every woman's worst nightmare.
But once a year, I let myself hope. Every year, on the eve of Independence, I allow myself to hope for the future, to hope that maybe, this will be the year.
This will be the year that my country becomes a country I feel safe in.
This is the year that men will slowly stop raping women.
This is the year that India will finally be the India I saw it to be a little less than 2 decades ago.
It hasn't happened yet.
But, in the end, what else do I have but hope?
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